i’m still here, waiting.
Do I just scream, “friend zone”? Does the fact that I go out of my way to help people, even those that have hurt me before, make me a welcome mat? I’m the kind of person that, when someone’s in need, I’ll help them to the best of my ability. Especially if they’re a friend to me, regardless of the past, if I can help, I will. Does this make me a super-softy that no guy is attracted to? Does this continually place me on the back burner?
For that matter, why is it that I’m letting one person get to me so bad? We’ve had this ‘date’ planned for several days; I was so excited at first, but then I realized that he’ll probably be too busy to actually see me. So, I finally called another friend and said, “He’s probably not coming, why don’t we hang out?” And… I was right. The last text I got was around midnight from this guy; I sent him a few around 1, called around 2 (out of worry), but at that point realized that a) his phone is on and b) he’s blown off time with me before [okay, without necessarily realizing it but regardless].
I’ve decided that I’m not going to text or call this guy today. If he wants to talk to me, he can message me first and give me a damn good explanation why I planned my Saturday night out around him. I’m sick and so fucking tired of being on a goddamn string and letting guys have control of when and where and what time. What pisses me off the most though, is that this motherfucker lives within spitting distance, but he’s always too goddamn busy to hang out. Now, I honestly think it’s a bit bullshit; either make a quick pit stop by my place to hang for a few minutes in between errands, or for fuck’s sake, wake your fucking ass up earlier and come over in the morning/early afternoon. I feel like such a harlot hanging out with people at the wee hours of the morning, y’know, like 2/3am.
I have nothing else to talk about right now, except that I am thoroughly frustrated with straight men in general. Maybe I’m a little frustrated with other friends too, I’m sorry, ‘friends’, because they neglect to tell me when they’re leaving and kinda fuck me over. Thanks, y’all.
The sad thing is, I’ll still do anything for them. God, I’m too fucking loyal.
