Settle Down, Hold Fast

I am ready.

I am ready for a change, for a personal Revolution.

I am sick of the person I have become, I am tired of the bad choices that I have made. I am ready to be a better student, a better friend, a better person all-around.

I am ready to lose weight, to get over this plateau that I am stuck on.

I am ready to get my grades up in school, to get this degree that I have coveted for so many years.

I am ready to be happy with my life, to quit relying on other people to make me happy.

I am ready to be alone, to know that I do not need a man’s or any one else’s company for comfort.

I am my own comfort, I am my own source of strength, my own backbone and strong foundation.

I know that I will never be truly satisfied with what anyone else has to offer me until I am satisfied with myself and all that Ihave to offer. And yes, I do have things to offer. I am not a one night stand, I am not an easy lay. Sex is vital in all relationships, but it is not necessary to understand how a person functions emotionally, intellectually. I am more than just a pretty face or a “cutie”; I will accept the fact that I amattractive, because many people have said that to me. I will accept this fact because if I do not, I will never believe another kind thing that anyone ever says to me. Just because I accept the fact that I am attractive does not make me vain, narcissistic or big-headed. I am fat, I am a larger woman, but I am not ugly. Some may call me average, some may call me above or below that line, but I am beautiful, I am perfect in my own way. I do need to lose weight for health purposes, but other than that, I am amazing.

I have beautiful eyes, I have an amazing smile. I never needed braces and I need to accept the fact that my teeth are superb. I have a nice rack, I have a nice ass, and my legs are smoother than any other’s. I have beautiful skin, courtesy of my grandmother. I have a beautiful spirit and I have a will power to live and to do good.

I am a good person, though I have made mistakes in the past. I am ready to move past these mistakes and shape myself into a new being, one with a new appreciation for life and the road that I will be paving. I do not know where I will wind up, I do not know what I will metamorph into being. What I do know, however, is that I will be a better version of me, an improved version, emphasizing all that is good with me and downgrading all of the bad.

I am only twenty years old; I have many, many good years ahead of me and I have the potential to be all that I want to become. I have the ability to shape my life into what I want it to be. I have grown up in a country that allows me to pursue a secondary education, that allows me to become an entrepreneur. If I want to open up my own bakery and bistro, then by God I will do so. I have goals and ambitions and I will make them come true; no matter how many times I fall on the way, I will learn from my stumbles and learn to take a different path.

I am ready to make my way into the world, I am ready to change into a better person. I am ready to accept the tasks that I have outlined for myself, the goals and the endgame.

Whether I take this journey alone or with someone else is out of my hands, but regardless, I will face this world and this life head on.

I may not be completely prepared, but I am ready.

  1. settledownholdfast posted this